Unscripted

Hi.

I was first hesitant to write to you, but my fear of letting the world know who I am wandered off and I found my braver side, so here it goes. Unscripted.

I have been reading your words for some time. I keep drowning in your words. No matter how long, your words are inspiring.

Thank you for putting a lot of effort in them and a lot of care. But mostly, thank you for putting a lot of love in your words.

You have a gift that is rare to find, that is special, that is unique and that is uplifting. Thank you for sharing that gift. With me.

Thank you for not fearing what I would think or say, for not being afraid to be judged by your words. Thank you for taking a chance and writing words that are feared by so many, but that still needs to be heard.

I don’t know you like a mother knows her child, but I got to know you through your words. I have gotten to know the person you really are, the person I could have never have guessed existed if I only looked on the surface.

I like you.

I want you to know that I am so grateful that you are who you are, and keep aspiring for more and reaching for good.

Through your words, you have inspired me to be better, to do better and most of all to know better.

A big part of me is even loving differently.

So here goes. Me. Unscripted.

I am a girl, living in Norway. Studying.

A lot of things I stand for are not socially accepted. I’m ok with that.

I’m loud, I laugh loud and I speak loud.

It seems like everything about me is loud.

It seems like you are not bothered with my loudness. I like that.

I enjoy life just enough (maybe too much).

I struggle at times to make the ends meet, but I brave myself, put on a smile and toughen up.

I do this every day. Almost.

I tend to cry over things and situations that are unfair. It does not have to involve me.

I tend to smile randomly and laugh when you shouldn’t be laughing.

I have a vivid imagination. I wish I lived in it.

My name is Barbara.

Having a name like Barbara, you are bound to have a whole bunch of nicknames. For now, Barby is my favorite.

I am not plastic.

My voice can be very annoying. I am born this way.

I often don’t understand fashion.

Once in a while I get asked the question; what would you do differently if you got a chance to start over?

I always have the same answer; nothing.

I would do exactly the same, experience exactly the same and live exactly the same (and hopefully have exactly the same mindset).

The experiences (good or bad) I have had in my life have shaped me and made me (literally) to who I am this day.

Let me share a few:

I have had my heart broken a couple of times, and each time I thought I wouldn’t survive it, but from every blow and every tear I shed, I’m glad I had those love experiences.

They have helped me see and understand what I want out in a relationship. And as inconsiderate as that sound, I stand by it.

I admit that I go in a relationship wanting something.

We all do.

Some of us want to feel close to someone, others want to share moments or experiences with someone. Some of us want to show off to others that we are not complete loners (and that is ok too), and for some of us, we are searching and looking for that someone to share our days with, our dreams with.

We are all looking for something in the other person.

The attraction never lasts if you are looking on the surface; he is handsome | she is pretty.

The attraction lasts the moment you see past the surface, the moment you start scouting what hides underneath. The attraction turns into a deeper feeling: love.

It does not matter if you are transparent, there are still things you wouldn’t show the world. Be it your secrets, your fears or your dreams.

I have failed in so many things, in so many ways. I am alive today because I keep getting up and keep moving forward.

If I ever gave up, I would be… I don’t want to know actually.

I have done embarrassing things, and oh man I have been embarrassed in so many situations. It didn’t kill me, actually it is the reason I can laugh it out loud with my friends today.

Last year I took on my superwoman suit on and travelled by myself to South-America (a small step for humanity, a huge step for me)!

I met some amazing and inspiring people.

I learned a new language (Spanish).

I ate so much (that I even gained weight!).

I laughed my hardest and loudest.

I danced in the streets of Buenos Aires and went clubbing in my pajamas in the clubs of Lima.

So many people touched my heart and opened my eyes to a whole new world.

And to top it all, I even got sick. A LOT! I got so sick that we had to rush me to the hospital, and no matter how horrible it sounds, the experience was worth it.

All of my experiences in life were worth it.

Because if I didn’t have them, I would miss out on a lot!

A lot of KNOWLEDGE.

A lot of great PEOPLE.

A lot of FOOD.

A lot of CULTURE.

And a whole lot of LOVE.

I would miss out on me.

Maybe you knew all of this already. Me. Unscripted.

Yet you read it through.

I admire that.

But if I forgot.. you let me know.

Barby :]]

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