Mom, Dad…

PL∀Y


For some time now since my last post, much has changed. I have wrote and rewrote and drafted like crazy. Then, I have read and reread and studied like crazy. After what comes… love. I have loved and loved and I am still loving like crazy. A conclusion I have settled with is this; it’s scary how fast time moves past you when life is happening… and when life is not happening, times does not move.. it runs.

I wanted to write something… anything.. but I couldn’t deny the fact that this story that you are about to read.. it needed to get out. Now.

It was about time. It needed some light and maybe.. I don’t know really..

 


Dedicated to a dear friend.

…….

It must be love.

My parents, mom and dad.

How can it not be?

I mean.. They made me and all. Not molded me, but they were the reason I was born.

Plus God of cause.

Along the way between me being born and being raised, they parted and went their separate ways.

I never got a clear answer as to why

What happened?

All I had to understand was this; It’s complicated, we just grew apart from each other.

They both love me very much and I love them too. Very much.

But they do not love one another anymore. The relationship just couldn’t work.

Dad said; It’s complicated child.

Mom said; you will understand when you are older.

I think that I am older. I mean, I’m passed teenage life already. Still…

I don’t understand.

I look a lot like dad, but I have a lot of traits that resemble mom too.

Every time I visit dad, he shouts out; I love you kid! The same does mom; I love you my darling!

If I look like dad and like mum, why don’t they shout out to each other; I love you!?

It would seem as if I don’t resemble any of them.

But I do.

They all tell me that I have mom’s eyes, dad’s nose, ears, mouth and even smile.

Apparently.. I inherited Mom’s stubbornness and Dad’s hard working personality.

Since I was a toddler, I have never once stopped looking up to them.

I still do. They are my idols.

When they went their separate ways.. I didn’t cry. It was complicated. I was too young to understand.

They told me; be strong.

I guess that I… I was too young to understand what complicated meant..

..but it never stopped me from wondering one thing; if I resemble them both, am I then a constant reminder of the love they lost?

Whenever I smile at Mom, does she see Dad?

and.. whenever I look at Dad, does he see Mom?

They all told me that I am an individual of my own…

…that I will grow to be a great person one day…

..that I will understand why life at times must be complicated..

..that it all would make sense..

My Aunts and Uncles would sing it in my ears, until I believed it; I am an individual.

But I have to be honest…

I am struggling to understand how a Love that once was burning and passionate..

..can fade away between the two..

and I am still in the Middle..

.. and still Mom and Dad, they do love me.

I am a product of both of them.

The complications has yet to be uncomplicated.

No matter how much I go through it all.. it makes no sense whatsoever.

And why do they all keep yelling out that I look so much like Mom and Dad!?

And again; why is there only coldness when Mom and Dad see one another!?

It is still complicated to me.. and I have grown up.

Or so I think I have.

Maybe there was a lot unsaid.

Maybe they didn’t communicate at all.

Maybe life with me was a lot more than what was bargained for.

Maybe we all just hit a big rock.

Maybe I was the reason to it all…

… I don’t know… and I think that I don’t want to know either.

and even though I might never be satisfied with the answer, I am glad they love me still.

Because I love them too.

Mom, Dad.. despite the complications that went down (and those that still are), I am glad I made it in life (and that I am still making it in life).

I love you both.

Maybe I will understand once I get to experience Love..

I hope that I will when I embark on the trail of Love..

I hope I will avvoid the complications though..

I really hope so.

You mean a lot to me

“I am glad you play an important role in my life. I have always known you mean a lot to me, but today I shed a tear because you really do mean a great deal to me.”

My oldest brother just turned 30 and I´m not lying when I say he does not look any different than when he was 25, but anyone can tell that he truly has come a long way and has taken life lessons, learned from them and shaped his life the way he desired to. Since I was a little girl, I have looked up to him. Until this day, he still is a great role model. Life has had its battles and there have been ups and down, but one thing I know for sure is that I wouldn´t change him. He is just great the way he is.

Spending time with the people I love, makes me see the little miracles in life. I went home for the weekend to celebrate my brothers birthday. As I looked through the room, I could see my family including my new added family. Because of my nephew, my family has expanded. As I looked around the room, I first glanced at my nephews grandpa. It was such a sweet moment. As I glanced at my nephew and his grandma, it was a happy moment. As I glanced at my mom and my nephew, I could see love. As I watched my twin sister and my nephew, I could see  joy. As I was watching

Family

my little sister and my nephew I could see a role-model. As I looked at my sister-in-law´s sister and my nephew, I saw a relationship. As I watched my brother, my sister-in-law and my nephew, I clearly saw parents. My family means the world to me.

 

 

I learn so much from the people I love. It has come down to this. I am finishing off my bachelor degree (yay) and at the same time I have been blessed with great friends throughout the years spent in Lillehammer. I am realizing how time really is at the essence and that I ha

ve to seize every opportunity I have with you. My friend.. you mean a lot lot to me. You know very well who you are. You live in Oslo, Lillehammer, Dr

ammen, Seoul, Charlotte, Utah, Lima, Helsinki, Stockholm and so many many places.
I know now, you are the best thing in my life ❤

 

Barby ^.^

Back home||Norway ^.^

Life is a sunshine, or well, life has been a sunshine the past 8months or so, and coming back home has been much harder than I thought. Not only have I struggled with Norwegian, but I have struggled with getting back on my feet. Don´t get me wrong, I love being home, but reality is not always as blissful as we tend to make it.

My bestfriend and my good friend Sam! It felt as if I never left 😀

I spent roughly a week with my family, and since I have become an Aunt to a baby boy, I had to re-prioritize. My family has been truly blessed with having a healthy baby boy, and one heck of a handsome boy too. He is the first grandson in our family and we couldn´t be more thrilled. My Mum has been truly excited to become a grandmother, and I have been stocked to become an Aunt for the first time. I am so proud of my Sister-in-law and my oldest brother. They are such great examples and I couldn´t have asked for anyone else. I love my family, and I had missed them more than I thought.

am so blessed and so spoiled to have my Mum and my bestfriend come pick me up at the airport!!

My mum and I || First day arriving home, awesome time with the worlds most awesome mum!

Twin sister Norah and I at our birthday celebration || Roughly 3 days after arriving home!

After roughly a week home, I had to get back to my “study-town” and get started already with school meeting and life. This semester, I signed up to be an International Buddy. I have had fun already getting to know these wonderful people, and I am excited for the adventures we will be experiencing and joining this upcoming semester.

The international students that I will, throughout the semester, try to be the best example I can (oh well, that means having a blast)

And then, as if I have not travelled enough, I took a short trip to Finland to visit some really awesome people! I had to kill my travelling addiction somehow :/ I was not prepared to have an AWESOME weekend with so many great people! I was shocked when Monday came and it was time for me to leave 😦

You see beauty and you know you are in Finland ❤

Sometimes, I still look back to memories of Peru and even though it is still hard to land, I am landing slowly. I know for sure that the experiences I had will always go with me! Vive el Perú!!

At the Art Museum in Lillehammer || A picture says more than a thousand words…

At Kerr´s wedding Aug 2012. Here with a great girl and my twin sister Norah 😀

Stay tuned for more awesome posts!

Barby [xoxo]