Mom, Dad…

PL∀Y


For some time now since my last post, much has changed. I have wrote and rewrote and drafted like crazy. Then, I have read and reread and studied like crazy. After what comes… love. I have loved and loved and I am still loving like crazy. A conclusion I have settled with is this; it’s scary how fast time moves past you when life is happening… and when life is not happening, times does not move.. it runs.

I wanted to write something… anything.. but I couldn’t deny the fact that this story that you are about to read.. it needed to get out. Now.

It was about time. It needed some light and maybe.. I don’t know really..

 


Dedicated to a dear friend.

…….

It must be love.

My parents, mom and dad.

How can it not be?

I mean.. They made me and all. Not molded me, but they were the reason I was born.

Plus God of cause.

Along the way between me being born and being raised, they parted and went their separate ways.

I never got a clear answer as to why

What happened?

All I had to understand was this; It’s complicated, we just grew apart from each other.

They both love me very much and I love them too. Very much.

But they do not love one another anymore. The relationship just couldn’t work.

Dad said; It’s complicated child.

Mom said; you will understand when you are older.

I think that I am older. I mean, I’m passed teenage life already. Still…

I don’t understand.

I look a lot like dad, but I have a lot of traits that resemble mom too.

Every time I visit dad, he shouts out; I love you kid! The same does mom; I love you my darling!

If I look like dad and like mum, why don’t they shout out to each other; I love you!?

It would seem as if I don’t resemble any of them.

But I do.

They all tell me that I have mom’s eyes, dad’s nose, ears, mouth and even smile.

Apparently.. I inherited Mom’s stubbornness and Dad’s hard working personality.

Since I was a toddler, I have never once stopped looking up to them.

I still do. They are my idols.

When they went their separate ways.. I didn’t cry. It was complicated. I was too young to understand.

They told me; be strong.

I guess that I… I was too young to understand what complicated meant..

..but it never stopped me from wondering one thing; if I resemble them both, am I then a constant reminder of the love they lost?

Whenever I smile at Mom, does she see Dad?

and.. whenever I look at Dad, does he see Mom?

They all told me that I am an individual of my own…

…that I will grow to be a great person one day…

..that I will understand why life at times must be complicated..

..that it all would make sense..

My Aunts and Uncles would sing it in my ears, until I believed it; I am an individual.

But I have to be honest…

I am struggling to understand how a Love that once was burning and passionate..

..can fade away between the two..

and I am still in the Middle..

.. and still Mom and Dad, they do love me.

I am a product of both of them.

The complications has yet to be uncomplicated.

No matter how much I go through it all.. it makes no sense whatsoever.

And why do they all keep yelling out that I look so much like Mom and Dad!?

And again; why is there only coldness when Mom and Dad see one another!?

It is still complicated to me.. and I have grown up.

Or so I think I have.

Maybe there was a lot unsaid.

Maybe they didn’t communicate at all.

Maybe life with me was a lot more than what was bargained for.

Maybe we all just hit a big rock.

Maybe I was the reason to it all…

… I don’t know… and I think that I don’t want to know either.

and even though I might never be satisfied with the answer, I am glad they love me still.

Because I love them too.

Mom, Dad.. despite the complications that went down (and those that still are), I am glad I made it in life (and that I am still making it in life).

I love you both.

Maybe I will understand once I get to experience Love..

I hope that I will when I embark on the trail of Love..

I hope I will avvoid the complications though..

I really hope so.

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